Scott Watson
May 1, 2012
English honors 2
Mrs. Koch
A Package Deal
Every house has it’s own problems and quirks that it’s owner comes to eventually accept. The wooden floor may creak in certain spots, the basement laundry room may be prone to the occasional spider epidemic, and the bathroom door frame might be chewed by the owner’s puppy. While these household “attributes” may be considered negative additions to the house, the owner may come to terms with them, perhaps even thinking affectionately on them. But what were to happen if the house owner needed to sell the home? How could they make possible buyers feel the same way about the house’s flaws like they do? With intelligent wording and a bit of charm, any household seller can make buyers fall in love. Despite the fact that my own home may have a “few” things “wrong” with it, I know exactly how I would put my household into the curious buyer’s heart.
Welcoming those who are interested into my house, I would first show them the living room/kitchen. This room is a combination of the two and is a perfect example of where a family-get-together should occur. A mixture of a stylish living room furniture side-by-side with country styled kitchen decor, perfectly harmonized. The hardwood flooring may at first seem creaky and to have the occasional scratch, however I would assure the buyer by explaining the quality and workmanship put into the flooring. Oak flooring, stained by my father so that it would last a life time, would assure buyers that the flooring wouldn’t need to be replaced and that the occasional spill wouldn’t effect the beauty of the floor. Next I would point out the handwork that had been put into the decorations on the walls. Beautiful handmade wooden signs, masterful paintings, and vintage kitchen utensils used in America’s early history hang on the walls. One may at first believe the decor to be a bit odd, however they would quickly come to appreciate the uniqueness of the decorations, making the kitchen/living room even more appealing.
Guiding everyone along, I would take them to the basement. Stepping around, buyers may note that the flooring is all tile. Although the flooring could easily be broken or cracked by someone determined enough, I would ensure buyers that the flooring could easily be replaced and installed. But regardless, I would explain that flooring in the basement would be mainly for displaying the beauty that tile has over wood. Formed in clay by hand, heated over several thousand degrees, and placed in ice water to harden, the tiles are perfect examples of household applicable art. After this, I would point to the massive television on the TV. Although I’ve come to live with the fact that remote controller only works if it’s pointed at an extremely awkward angle towards the TV, I’m sure the buyers will require an explanation. Moving the TV a few inches diagonally would fix the problem, and doing so would only take ten minutes. If I’m asked why I haven’t already done this, I’ll simply answer, “It’s been up there like that for three years, it’s not good to break a tradition.” With a smile, the buyers would follow me out of the room.
Going outside into the backyard, buyers will immediately noticed that pure beauty of the nature surrounding them. High above us, the trees will look down at us, showering the area in leaves. Small local wildlife will scatter at our approach. The grass will sway in waves in the direction of the wind, not taking notice of us. The more snobby buyers will immediately notice the small ditch in the corner of the yard, as well as the chunk missing from the largest tree in the yard. I will immediately calm them by telling them of the old apple tree that used to rest in the corner of the yard, up until the day it unexpectedly began to dry up and die. Everyone will appreciate the story behind the tree. As children, I would explain, my friends and I were in the backyard playing with fire works. Usually monitored, one day my mother wasn’t home. On that day, my friends and I made a cocktail of fireworks, all slammed into one. Lighting it, the tree soon paid for our antics. Flying up, the fire works immediately brutally ravaged the trunk of the tree, ripping off it’s limbs. Although my story could be considered unfortunate for the tree, I’m sure any potential buyers will appreciate the unnatural ugliness of the tree, relating with the childhood stories behind it’s scars.
After the tour, I will close my doors as the buyers walk away. Although my house has many things about it that some may considered weird, or unattractive, behind everything is a reason. With some smooth explaining, anything scar, scratch, or inconvenience can be explained in a humorous or emotional way. There should be no reason why a person shouldn’t appreciate the history behind something, especially something as intimate as a house. But sometimes things about a house aren’t easily accepted at first, anything is possible with time. Despite this, any potential buyers of my house should keep in mind that if they buy my house, it includes all the attractive things, as well as every single quirk that they can imagine. In other words, they get it all. Good and bad. To put it simply, it’s a package deal.
